They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
