Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
