Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize