Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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