we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
