I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
