After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
