You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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