I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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