I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
