I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
