it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
