So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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