she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
