we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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