it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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