New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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