I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
