Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
