Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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