You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Damn victory sex feels great
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize