I got chris browned last night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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