Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
