life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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