So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pappa wants mamma naked
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize