i just wanna soil my oats bro
so that wasnt chicken after all
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
