I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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