The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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