Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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