Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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