return my video game
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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