I've blown a few things in my day
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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