I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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