ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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