If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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