i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
