Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize