I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
