I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
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I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.