Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says