Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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