Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
