They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
