I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
