i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
