the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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