She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this boner is exhausting
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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