i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
