Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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