Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
