his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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