Too much gin, very little bucket
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize