yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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