like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
