I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize