her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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