the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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