tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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