if i died would you start the facebook group?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
