I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
